| murky swamp water |
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| 11:10am 20/06/2006 |
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mood:  swamp water music: Brave Saint Saturn
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I feel so stagnate. I’m murky swamp water. I just finished Blue Like Jazz (again) last week and now I’m reading Every Women’s Battle. I feel so far from God right now. Not a “sin” filled far away-but a dormant far away. I have this strong longing for a pure, intense, arm filled love relationship with God. 1. I think I have been ignoring Him-taking him for granted. He’s been my band-aid I take out and use when I’m in pain or my genie-I rub the lamp when I’m in want. There are a couple of other reasons I hypothesis as to why I feel so strong a need for Him.
2. I am out of school. All I do-everyday-is work 8-4. During other summers I have had another job or school or something to keep my mind busy. So the 7 or so hours a day that my mind is left to wander and ponder has left me to see how far apart God and I are right now. I was watching King of Queens last night (I love that show) and it was the episode I have seen before where they are buying a new bed so they are sleeping in twin beds until the new one comes. At first they are fine with it-they actually like the freedom and the room that comes with having their own space and they were sleeping better. By the end of the show you see them holding on to each other with both arms in a twin bed.
3. I’m in a relationship. A wonderful relationship where I am loved and I love and it is great. Without getting too mushy or embarrassing but still trying to convey the new feelings and ideas: It feels as if I have been awakened. Before I was a sterile white room. I embraced every book and engrossed myself in as much knowledge as possible every moment was spent studying - giving to my cravings of knowledge-but my emotional longings were put aside. I loved my friends, I loved my family-but a relationship love was not present. Like the Pedro song “in time memories fade sense numb one forgets how it feels to have loved completely.” When the human love relationship left - my God love relationship was hindered. I would compare it to the example of how it is hard for some people who have nasty fathers growing up to see God as a father. It was hard to have a love relationship with God since a human example was not staring me in my face-I’m human I have a hard time embracing the Holy, my faith is less then a quarter of a mustard seed. The more I learn to love Phil the more I learn to love God. My cup is running over.
But as I said it the beginning of my ramblings my eyes have been re-opened to me and God’s twin bed situation. So I have been reading (because that’s what I know to do) and I have been listening to Christian music (because that’s what I know to do) and I’ve been trying to read the scriptures more (because that’s what I know to do)-but its boring me right now-I think because I am reading it like a fiction novel. I need to study it like Physics I need to take classes (bible study) and view it as a textbook. There was a man at my old church who was in his 70’s. He had been a Christian since his 20’s. He looked at me one time and said, Jenni the Bible has never bored me. I still find new things-ideas-concepts-ways to apply it. I have never grown tired of it. And it’s true. It is Holy and eternal. But all the bible study’s-they seem so BORING! I want to be in Ken’s class. I want to be 17 again and not take it for granted and do all the word studies, ha. I think, if it’s nice out after work, I’m going to pack a lunch and a blanket today and go to the park and study God. If anyone has any ideas of ways that you yourself have deepened your relationship and/or any good Bible studies-please let me know. Gilbert out. |
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| focusing on my past |
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| 12:48pm 02/06/2006 |
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mood:  nostalgic
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So I just spent my whole lunch period re-reading my old journal entries. I wonder if I can get them printed out? I'm very proud of myself for keeping it updated. I think I'm going to go out today and buy a paper journal. I have the worst mind and I want to remember everything. Here are some old entry's that made me smile:
moooooooooooovin
05:48pm 05/06/2004
Well,
Today I moved into my summer home in Wyandotte. I'm excited now, I'm finally going to be able to pay off my credit so I can get a new car. The Beretta is going down hill...now there is no more heat, peepoo. But Debbie and Kevin are very nice, and the house is awesome so yeah:) I will miss living with Melissa, It hasn't hit me yet, It usually takes a few days before I realize whats going on...
Well I'm getting ready to go to Northridge for their college night, yay. It will be fun, God and video games:) peace out
Motion City
03:13am 17/10/2003
mood: awake
music: Built to Spill-you were right
k doky its 3 in the morning and I've done tried to get to sleep for the last time, so I'm up for the night...poo. But lucky you I am updating my journal
So So i went off to the show Wednesday: Fallout Boy, Mae, Motion City Soundtrack, and Rufio. We took a crew with us Phil, Rach, Kev, then kate, Shae,and An(had to keep it short)showed up in time after a little set back with the evil car.
Mae and Motion were awesome, got in there close enough to feel the breeze after Jesse's trapeze acts. oh oh oh and as I was buying merch from the Mae table I talked a little with one of the hot guys that was working there as he sold me a PHat shirt...yeah yeah and he winked at me: "To close and open the eyelid of one eye deliberately, as to convey a message, signal, or suggestion."(dictionary.com) K so he winked at me and then we made love on the march table as gay rufio set up...jk he didn't wink....
But yeah Fallout boy was crap and we decided on Denny's instead of Rufio...I like butter
Fire! Fire!
12:09am 02/10/2003
mood: good
music: Fiction Plane-Cigarette
Well Well,
Today was a day. I was lazy all day till Phillip came to rescue me. But he didn't really make it to my house.His car caught on fire! On Eureka right in front of the doctors office thing, by the art van. The firetruck came and everything, and put out the flames!!! The police had to tow the car and it was horrible and crazy and other words like that. Poor Phil, all his cd's were melted, so if you love him go illegal and burn him some good tunes.
I've been having wicked dreams lately. The other night I dreamed I was a server at Olgas agian, and I couldnt get to a table and the people where getting really mad.It was yucky, I woke up at like 4am covered in sweat! I used to have dreams like that all the time when I worked there...in high school! What the crap head. I think I'm just messed up.
ok thats all for now dumplings;)
"you seduce me with your plastic smile"
Its my first time so go easy on me....
12:21pm 10/09/2003
mood: giddy
Hey there kiddies,
Well yay, the bandwagon came around and Shae helped me jump onto it. So I have a journal, and so soon after a made fun of Shae's, peice of crap!
But today I'm making the voyage to Michigan, so yay. Shae's hand picked out some emo boys for me,lol
Ok thats all I'm going to write right now, becuase its only 12:30 and not much has happened in the hour I've been awake. So when I get home at 10:30-11 I'll write more. Stay Tuned: ) |
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| Looky! |
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| 10:21am 01/06/2006 |
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mood:  giddy music: Sara Evans-When you were cheating
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Seven Things I Want to Do Before I Die (only seven!?!)
1. Get Married
2. Get a job I love: aka graduate
3. Have little people of my own
4. Travel around the world/teach English in foreign land
5. Go on a medical mission’s trip/ join peace corp.
6. Live in NY, Cali, and/or Italy
7. Learn as much as I can: about God, science, everything, other languages, as many instruments as possible
Seven Things I Can't Do
1. Walk on Water(that’s a good one Amy)
2. Speak another language
3. Buy things
4. Like any stupid movie
5. Trust people (I’m working on it)
6. touch my tongue to my nose
7. have sex
Seven Books I Love
1. The Bible (YAY)
2. Blue Like Jazz
3. Perks of Being a Wallflower
4. Catcher and the Rye
5. Farewell to Arms
6. Icons of Evolution
7. 1984
Seven Movies I Could Watch Over and Over
1. Closer
2. Moulin Rouge
3. You’ve Got Mail
4. Hitch
5. Mr. and Mrs. Smith
6. Swingers
7. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Seven Things I Say a Lot
1. I love this song
2. sorry
3. I don’t know
4. I don’t care
5. It’s up to you
6. man
7. I’m an idiot
Seven Things I Want (Have) in a Spouse
1. Spiritual Maturity/Godliness
2. Love
3. Honesty/Communication
4. Respect/Loyalty
5. Humor
6. Intelligence
7. Emotion |
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| 07:47pm 14/05/2006 |
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"Nobody is better qualified than the commercial traveller over there to sell Swan toothpaste. Nobody is better qualified than that interesting young man to fumble about under his neighbour's skirts. And I am among them and if they look at me they must think that nobody is better qualified than I to do what I do. But I know. I don't look very important but I know that I exist and that they exists. And if I knew the art of convincing people, I should go and sit down next to that handsome white-haired gentleman and I should explain to him what existence is. The thought of the look which would come on to his face if I did makes me burst out laughing." The rationality and solidity of this world, Roquentin thinks, is a veneer. -LA NAUSÉE, Sartre |
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| 10:24pm 10/05/2006 |
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ok I am going to TX 18-23 of May and me and the boy are having fun when we are not working opposite shifts
I think I'm a depressive
I think I am going stir crazy
I think I can't handle not being in school
I love the rain
I'm in debt
I love the rain
I am fat
I love God
I need to read my bible right now |
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| 10:17pm 10/05/2006 |
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Everyday is the same and I have learned nothing. I feel like this pathetic person that can’t crawl out and I feel the world sucking me in-into tv sitcoms, fictional novels, and naps. I need to study for the MCAT, but I don’t want to-at all. Its like nails in my eye, the stuff I know is boring me-the stuff I don’t know stresses me. I end up giving up on any goal of being a doctor. This then adds to the self-loathing that my spirit is so happy to make room for. “I am stupid, I am lazy, I am worthless, I have fooled no one, I waste my life, and then anything else bad you can think of. I then think-self, you never wanted to be a doctor, why would you want to be a doctor? Is it a pride thing? A control thing? Is it money, blah…Then I think I could quit school and just work at a dead in job the rest of my life. I would have all the bills paid off-travel more-see more people-but I know that this too is a lie. I am a hermit. I use school as an excuse during the school season to hide myself from people and then when schools out-I don’t know what the heck my problem is! Why the crap don’t I want to do anything! I now have this time I complained about lacking: I can workout, read, study the freaking MCAT-and then we are back to the self loathing. I take a lot of naps.
My mornings are filled with the monotony of the same day reoccurring in different ways. I hate my job. I really do. I do pointless activities that require no brainwork and make me more self loathing of how depressing my life is. I’m like what’s his face from Office Space-or the main character in metamorphosis: I wake up at ungodly hours everyday, try and look nice, sit in traffic jams on the way to work, do a ton of lame jobs at work (try to not kill myself or others or the printer), sit in traffic jams on the way home, then curl up in a ball and wipe out any remnant of reality..
I make good money for my age, they have worked around my schedule, I get paid vacation and holidays, I have worked there for 2 years, I can complain about people to Meri (just in case you ask why I stay)
Thoughts: the freaking security midnight shift
Fears: being tired, not getting vacation/holidays, not working around schedule
Bottom line: The fall semester leaves no room for working normal hours: day or night = I quit |
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| UPDATE! |
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| 11:00am 27/04/2006 |
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I slept from 7pm-7am yesterday. I came home from work-went to the laundry mat-came home and crashed. I was going to study for my final-read some of my book-be proactive in some way…nope. I think the past semester has finally caught up…oh well. I have a dinner with my work tonight (at the Big Fish) and then there is a free movie up at school that I might go to, then after that I WILL study because…
Friday, after work, I’m going to a concert with Bryan
Saturday I have a School thing from 830-1 the Tony’s BBQ from 3-??
Sunday-church/study?
Monday-Physics final!!
Me and Phil have decided to date. Its weird dating a friend. I don’t know what to do? He doesn’t know what to do. This is scary.
Meri was my Easter bunny. She snuck into my room and dropped off an Easter basket, awww! She’s so sweet.
Went to Mexican town with the Rowes then to Greek town. I love Detroit. I love hanging out with the Rowes!
I think I might eat the duck, DDP/Pecker/Oliver
Ok work |
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| 07:46pm 03/04/2006 |
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mood:  aggravated music: The Fiery Furnaces-"Blueberry Boat"
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Friday: Canceled on all my dates and tried to have me time. Ended up at Starbucks from 11-2ish doing Physics; )
Saturday: MeTamora time! Wanted to kickbox it up at my gym-got there and discovered that it was closed forever! Dang! Ended up running around Garden City park (she stepped in poo, hehe) and an old guy passed up-WE ARE BEGGINERS
Then we went a shopping at the mall in Ann Arbor. It was great. Listened to Bob and the idiot “Christian” group lady on the way there, totally going to protest their next funeral protest, God does love everyone! He made us, he knows us in and out, how could a father not love his child, fools. Got home late! Went to the coffee house near me and tried some more Physics…hard chapters.
Sunday: yay for church. Me and Phil dressed up. Chris stole my shirt. Ate at the Alliance. Went to work from 230-930 doing BORING pull down. With my new phone I can put it on Speaker phone, so I could work and talk to everyone on my phonebook, hooray!
Monday: I hated work. At one point when I was rushing around trying to get my work done-as I did all day-EVERY person in the freaking office was on the internet playing (except Mary Cook) I was so pissed. I kinda lost it for a minute. I hate stupid jobs, I want a science job!
Then I went to class and learned about the mathematical principles behind Black Holes! Fun! Now I am trying to finish my Physics lab report, I hate writing lab reports! AHHHH
Then more studying-with Phil and then bed and awake to do it again! I need Summer! I need a real Summer with no school and vacations! I need to stop whining! BA degree in Biology w/Chemistry minor in one year! Nine more classes! YAYAYAYAYAYAY |
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| 01:38pm 27/03/2006 |
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mood:  busy music: Get Gone-Fiona Apple
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Okay I feel better now: ) I went to lunch with Renee and Meri and Renee splashed coffee on my hand when she was acting the story of this larger ladies outfit.HA! We went to the mall and I brough a PB&Jelly sandwich so I just bought some Starbucks. I like hanging out with them. And guess what, I'm getting a new phone! Hooray! I'm also starting a new exercise program. I worked out Saturday (my inner thighs hurt now) and then Tues& Thursday Im going to go up to school early and work out and then monday and Friday after work and school and then Saturday. I'm also going to try and do 1000 situps a day. I need to study for the MCAT's, I don't think I'm going to pass and it stresses me out. I watched Grey's Anatomy last night and it was a great one. I want to be a doctor sooo bad! No matter how long it takes me, no matter how long I have to be single and friendless to spend my pasty butt indoors studying!
I'm reading a few books right now.
A science book: Velocity of Honey, which Chris point out that one of the stories were wrong, dang
A fiction book: Age of Reason, it keeps me grounded. I love how he speaks, I want to be Mathieu!
A religious book: The Old Testiment, I'm trying to read through it in a year..I'm in the second book: (
School books: My African American Studies course is over with! I don't ever have to read another non-science book for school again! This is a big deal. I'm kindof a big deal.
Ok I have to work...ha...I have piles of things I need to get done...piles and piles and piles and... |
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| This was a crappy weekend and I want a re-do on my free time: |
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| 10:35am 27/03/2006 |
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mood:  sleepy music: Dumb I sound-Sufjan Stevens
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Was invited to a party on Friday-didn’t know anyone and the person I went with ditched me-sucked. Thanks for the ear Sarah: )
Worked all freaking day Saturday then went to another stupid party. Friend I went for was plastered when I got there…at 10…and then was all over the bar the whole time. I left after an hour
I really need to learn how to say no: (
Went to church Sunday-that was nice: ) I thought everyone ditched me, yet again, and I sat by myself-but then Chris and Tamora came! I love them. They are so cute when the minister talks about married stuff and you hear them laughing and whispering. Almost makes me want to get married…almost. They are good friends: ) After service we saw Tami and Amy there! I love them too! They are so nice and funny. I wish I had known them growing up. Not because of them-but I feel so different from them. I don’t have kids and I am a long long way from any type of marriage or commitment situation. So I wish I knew them when I am older and settled down-I’m pretty sure we would be best friends and look at our babies together-or whatever people like that do.
I’m at work and I’m freaking tired. I couldn’t sleep last night since my neighbors started having Sunday night parties and I developed a new mental illness. It seems that when I am stressed or upset I clean. I got up at 11:30 and cleaned the house until 1:30. I made sure all the towels were straight; all the bottles were straight in the hall closet in the fridge, all freaking over. It’s nice looking-but a little crazy. And I had to wake up at 630..I’m so whinny right now, ha! It’s the no sleep thing. I’m going to be horrible when I’m an intern, lol.
Blah-I have my Physics lecture today and I didn’t get any of my homework done so I have no idea what’s going on in there. I tried to cram all my homework in on Sunday and was up at school from 2ish-930, but at that time by eyes would not remain open and I couldn’t comprehend anything-so I left.
This is a lame blog to read-I pretty much just wanted to complain and vent. Ha I’m done. |
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| 09:05pm 22/03/2006 |
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mood:  calm music: breathing
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THIS IS NOT MINE: http://www.myspace.com/butnobodycame I LOVE HOW SHE WRITES:
We used to go everywhere together.
Tonight: blustery and hollow. Tonight I thought, now this is winter. Tonight seemed like the stars should have rested just a few feet above the ground. And I mean that in the most removed way because I find nothing romantic or idealized about it. Tonight I gathered my collar around my neck where a scarf should have been and I swore I heard someone yell my name, and yet I didn't turn around. And I mean nothing romantic in that either.
Tonight *someone far too young to even consider said he recognized me from MySpace and that he appreciated my seriousness. I thought about how Ryan was always accusing me of being too serious for my own good. And I was displeased because they both have it all wrong. Because I am not serious. Because, really, it is that I want badly for the metaphysical world to take itself more seriously. For the universe to obey its own cliches of karmic law. And so, this desire is misinterpreted as seriousness.
Tonight I was impressed by Margaret Atwood's musings on orphans and also of animals reclaiming their identities. When the bear renounces the names we've assigned him in language, the world ends.
And of orphans, from "Orphan Stories" The Tent by Margaret Atwood:
ii) Orphans have bad experiences in barns, in cellars, in automobiles, in woodsheds, in vacant fields, in empty classrooms. It's because they're so tempting. It's because they're so damaged. It's because they're so scrawny. It's because they're so easily broken. It's because they're so available. It's because they're so erotic. It's because no one will believe what they say.
Tonight I thought about two people who have authority over me. How neither are particularly artistically gifted. How neither seem to think in the abstract. Neither have ideas. How both are motivated by money and so easily swayed by general consensus. Tonight I thought about how one is of no threat to me at all and how the other is terrifyingly dangerous. Dangerous because she is simply unaware that she is not artistically gifted. That she does not have ideas. How she does not understand. How she is so easily swayed - how she is motivated. Tonight I thought how the universe could redeem itself by just placing her at a used car salesman's desk tomorrow morning. Tonight I thought about just how much damage we do to people when we take on a role that doesn't suit us. How much damage I did.
Tonight I thought about bees again.
Tonight I thought about James Frey. I thought about how his only mistake was to not tell Oprah to go fuck herself.
Tonight Chan Marshall's cover of Naked If I Want To came on as I was reading and I had an urge to tap my foot. But, you know, that song doesn't even begin to lend itself to toe-tapping. I wondered why this urge? Because I wanted the people across from me to see that I knew this song and loved it and that somehow, that would help define me for these strangers who didn't much care? And I immediately likened myself to the girls at Ani DiFranco concerts who sing along too loudly to prove to you that they are, in fact, the hardcore fans. But how the real hardcore fans tend to just keep as quiet as they can and listen. (Tonight, I thought about how I subconsciously chose to write Chan Marshall here rather than Cat Power. And I'm winking at you right now. And I will also admit that until about a year ago I used to pronounce her name phonetically.)
And of keeping quiet and just listening. And of admitting that I've been feeling quite pious lately. And of taking on roles that don't suit you. And of swearing to hear a (familiar) voice calling my name again: I met someone awhile ago who was very much himself at the time. And I was very much playing a role that didn't suit me. And I've noticed lately, with sadness and disappointment, that he is now playing a role that doesn't suit him at all. Keeping company with people of less than desirable character - The Vapid. Turning into Them. And because I knew him previously, this new identity seems more intensely shallow, placating, ugly and meaningless than it would if I had just met him tonight. But the reason it disheartens me is not really about him, it is this:
I spent a very long time working toward the goal he seemed to have achieved back then. And to see him give it up so easily makes me insecure about my own ability to hold onto it. This disappointment is much like my mother and the humiliating (I thank God for them) rules she imposed on my sister and me as teenagers. We were not allowed to shave our legs, wear makeup, pierce our ears, or wear nylon stockings, heels or above-the-knee skirts until we were in our late teens (much, much later than the rest of the girls.) And her reason was that we do these things to please men. Women are not meant to be wasting time pleasing men. But, then, just weeks ago she suggested, out of the blue, that I get breast implants. Everything I knew was sucked away. Will I give in, eventually, too?
Tonight I wondered if he still takes me places, even just sometimes. Because I still take him everywhere.
Tonight, on my way home and again as I've read this over, I realized why I might be called "serious." Why I might be interpreted as a Know It All. Or pious. Sanctimonious. Or just plain rotten. I realize why it might have brought that person a bit of joy to call me on my hypocrisy in a Blogger comment. And it doesn't bother me too much. And, oddly, it is sort of relieving. Because Jen, Erin, my family, Kate, Josh, my coworkers, but mostly Claire (if she knew what it meant) would most-likely put "serious" at the very bottom of my list of characteristics. Tonight I thought, if I did not seem serious here I might not be the one to break into ridiculous song on deadline day. I might not laugh until I snort when Erin tells me stories of Jerry the Granite Guy. Or convince Claire that Mr. Squirrel called and invited himself to dinner again. Or giggle with strangers when I've stumbled on the sidewalk. Make goofy jokes and talk about my new trouser shorts for far too long. If I weren't serious here, I'd have to be serious there. And I don't want to be serious there - so I am not. But I can see how they might think I would be. And I guess I don't blame them.
Tonight I wondered why I think serious is so bad.
* You know I'm not being rotten. You're lovely. But how foolish you'd make me look. |
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| and then |
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| 03:54pm 13/03/2006 |
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I moved back to Taylor and as I ventured out on Friday to run errands I ran into 3 friends/people I know/highschool alumni…
Played walleyball with the Rowes, the Fells, and the EMT couple (last names??) It was okay, but LIKE ALWAYS Chris decided he didn’t want to play half way through and started messing around : (
Saturday I got a bunch of homework done and had my new bookcase collapse on me from lack of all the pieces. Then Sarah, Sarah P., Jon, Laura anne, Amos, Todd, Manna, and Nate all went to Son’s restaurant in Ann Arbor. YUM! Jay Fisher showed up and then we picked up Phil and went back to my place and played board games and hide n go seek! It was sooo fun. I hid under a pick up truck in the parking lot, but then it started raining so we had to go back it.
Sunday Sarah picked me up and we all went to her dad’s for steak and eggs, mmmmm. Then to Metro for an awesome worship and sermon. I love that church! I’m so glad God brought me there! Then we went to Sarah’s mom’s house for Turkey dinner and the dictionary game…I kinda sucked at it, oh well. Then they left and I took a nap. Got up-went to the coffee house to finish up Physics/Human Phys. and study.
It was a great weekend. I wish they all lived here: ( I had the best time hanging out with them all…: ( I want them to live here! |
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| ideas from my African American Studies Course... |
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| 02:07pm 11/03/2006 |
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The African world view, or the beliefs about the limits and workings of the world shared by the members of a society and represented in their myths, lore, ceremonies, social conduct, and general value, and the European world view, as articulated by Dr. Ani, have several variants. World view is a way that people make sense of their surroundings and make sense of life and of the universe and tends to affect and determine behavior. Dr. Ani feels that these two cultures, African Americans and Europeans, contain completely different world views, polar opposites.
The African world view sees all being within the universe organically interrelated and interdependent, or cosmos. Dr. Ani argues that the western European world view does not yield this same concept. The essence of the African cosmos is spiritual reality which is it’s fundamental nature. Both spirit and matter are one, not separate entities as they are in the west. They are necessary in order for there to be a meaningful reality. He argues that “while spiritual being gives force and energy to matter, material being gives form to spirit. Enlightenment, and the acquisition of wisdom and knowledge depend to a significant degree on being able to apprehend spirit in matter.” He sees this idea as the critical difference between African American and European world views. He sees the mode for determining structure in the western world view as power, control, and destruction. Clearly this shows a polar difference between the two cultures.
To the African the universe is made up of compementary pairs, to the European the universe is made up of opposing pairs. The African universe has the Divine Essence as male and female showing the point of balance in harmony and the importance in discovering the point of harmonius interaction. The European world view, in its opposing pairs, is boy/girl, white/black, knowledge/opinion, no areas for harmony.
The supreme value, in terms of the African world view, is to live life robustly, to live life with as much energy and as forcefully as possible. There is a relationship between the human and the Divine, the heavenly and the earth bound which is magnified through sacrifice where all beings within the cosmos are effected and they in turn give an effect. This concept is radically different from the European world view. The European mind is literal the African mind is more concepts based and the ideas are expressed in a more symbolic way.
In the end the African world view is characterized as unity, harmony, spirituality, and organic interrelationship. The European world view, on the other hand, is characterized by compartmentalization, control, conflict, materialism, and mechanical relationship. |
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| 08:57am 10/03/2006 |
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I decided to pay off all my debt (other then the old student loans, hehe) with my taxes and put the rest in my savings, probably around $150 or so. Then I'm going to go to the Dell store and pick the laptop I like and try and get the 18month no interst deal they have on their credit card and then pay it off. Thats the plan. keep it on the DL. This is a lame post. I'm sorry |
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| 11:38pm 07/03/2006 |
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mood: better
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ok, so it didn't take as long as I thought to finish up the lab report and I kinda half hearted it,but its okay because I have good grades on all the other's, I got a good grade on the test (1!) and I think the GA likes me.
Orgo still sucks, but Stu was in there till 11pm one time I have never done that...and I can go to another persons lab to do my unknowns if I get really behind
I am getting a lot back in taxes, so I'm going to buy a laptop with that money.
And I Meri understands, and although she hasn't said it, I think she is okay with the fact that I havn't paid her for the cable yet.
I'm still hungrey and tired, but I'm going home now: ) and I'm glad I have a job...and I'm really glad I don't have to do jury duty tomorrow. That would really suck: ) |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| 10:34pm 07/03/2006 |
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mood:  sad, angry, tierd
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I didn't get out of my Orgo lab till 1020pm...this is not the first time. I hate the lab. I am an idiot in that lab. No matter how hard I try...I still look like the biggest idiot. I have to redo the freaking easy lab Thursday because my results sucked and I'm very behind on my unknown liquid. I feel like I'm behind on everything: ( And now I have to finish my lab report in Physics that I couldn't do during the break because I have no freaking computer and I couldn't get motivated at the Rowes. And I have to finish the homework he assigned monday, because I had no other time to do it because of work...and were not even going to bring up all the other classes I'm behind in...And I have to work at 8am tomorrow till 4 then classes at 530-930. I am so annoyed. And then you have the people that are not working and understand everything and can hangout with thier friends and workout and I hate them right now. I'm so hungry. Moving in sucked the money out of my bank. I owe Meri $31 I have barely no money in my account and I don't get paid till the 15th. I can complain for hours. I'm in a bad mood. The day started off good. Now I hate life and you. but mostly you. and orgo and our instructor for being so anal. I want to go to sleep!! |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| My Tummy Hurts |
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| 09:53am 20/02/2006 |
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mood: cheerful music: Ben Harper-Diamonds on the Inside
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Good weekend! Walleyball after work was oh so fun! Me, Bryan, Lindsay, Tamora, Chris, Ricky, Mindy, and Mindy’s Family (who are all very tall and very good) It was so much fun! Hooray. I’m mad Crystal didn't show up (or call) she would have had a good time. Cold Stone was very good!
Saturday we went and put money on a townhouse. I hope we can move in soon! They will call us tomorrow to let us know when we can move in. Then I worked and then went to a coffee house with Jay and Sarah and beat the heck out of them in Rummy!
Sunday I went to Metro, I love that freaking place! I leave there feeling so in love with God and life and so happy. I always seem to have a good worship and learn something! Hooray! Then I went to the Chocolate Thing it was awesome. It was just for women and it was at Twin Oaks (my old church). When you get there, there is a table filled with a bunch of homemade soups (Amy Solomon had the best, I got seconds) and then a table with every type of chocolate thing you can think of and a chocolate fountain! On the table there are a chocolate bottle of "wine" on a chocolate platter and white chocolate "bread" It looked sooo real! Sarah won the centerpiece: ) She also dressed up in her Indian gear and talked about her trip. She did so good! I was so proud of her! I went to school afterwards to get my homework done, and finished most of it, till my freaking calculator died! Dang! I went home and watched Gray's Anatomy which I think I'm now addicted. I was going to finish my homework up, but had to cut the night short because I had the worst stomachache ever! I went right to bed. I have no idea why? Then, as I was lying there curled up in a ball reviewing the day I remembered the soup I ate, all the chocolate I ate...the pop, coffee and pop tart I ate at school and then that was it, that was all I ate till I got home and had left over pizza...It was too late...I did it to myself, STUPID!
Tony's coming over today while me and Meri are at work to move some of our stuff to his garage! He is so awesome! I love that I got to know Meri and Tony more. I think this new place will bring us closer. Me and Meri had our problem(hehe) in the beginning, but I think because of that we have become better friends. We’re alike in a lot of ways. Okay that’s all folks. |
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ldyarsnic's journal